just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
