Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
