guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
