Where are you?
In a non slutty way
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
