that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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