Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
