Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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