Sry I called you an 8
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
