doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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