Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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