Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
