We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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