I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Randomize
