I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
