With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
