oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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