it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
