turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
