I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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