I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
