We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
