The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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