I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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