Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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