think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
