There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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