didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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