I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize