I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
