The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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