finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
