Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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