Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
