"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
