No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
you would pick up someone in the library
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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