I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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