my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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