Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
