The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Never underestimate the power of titties
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