My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize