i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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