I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
