I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
