he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
