this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
