Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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