some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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