the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
