it wasn't lemon gatorade
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
