put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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