do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
