I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
