You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
