is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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