stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
