Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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