If i come over, it means nothing
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I think pants incapable of making pants work
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