Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Randomize