my mouth tastes like poor choices
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
