Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
