Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
