Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
and she was petting her beer can
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
