u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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