I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
someone owes me an orgasm
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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