oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Are we still banned from the library?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
