I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
